Live from Philadelphia, it’s night twoooooooooo! That’s right, we’re back for a night of history. Because for the first time in this two party system, a female has gotten enough delegates to be the candidate. But more on that just a little later.
When the Republicans had their convention, one of their celebrities that spoke was Scott Baio. He hasn’t really been relevant since he was in charge of the Powell kids’ back in the day. So the Democrats got Lena Dunham. At least she has a successful show in this millennium. So that’s an upgrade, I would say.
Once again, let’s have a moment of silence for Bernie Sanders. Who was it that announced to the crowd that Clinton had the delegates, even giving her his delegates? It was Bernie. And then he immediately turned around and went back up the stairs and left. And I can’t say I blame him for that. It’s just awkward.
Former Secretary Of State Madeline Albright gave a speech in which she took a shot at Trump. “Clinton knows that being President isn’t like hosting a reality TV show.” Well, I would hope no one got the two confused.
i would say the speech of the night went to Bill Clinton. You know as he stood up on that stage looking over the crowd he was thinking “I’d sleep with her. And her. And her. I think I did sleep with her once. I’d share a cigar with her.” And so on. But his speech is being billed as a love letter to his wife. “She’s the biggest change maker I’ve ever known.” I was then expecting him to say “Look at how she changed me from the perviest POTUS since Kennedy to this fine outstanding man you see before you.” And speaking of Bill Clinton, if Hillary wins, do we refer to him as First Man? First Dude? Number one guy? That too is a awkward.
It was great to see Howard Dean back on the stage. He even spoofed himself, but he left out the best part. His little scream at the end. That would have taken me back, man. Still, good to see he still has a sense of humor.
Suddenly, the camera panned up the stage and there was the sound of glass breaking and a video of Hillary Clinton as she “shattered the glass ceiling”.
We will be back tomorrow with more from Philadelphia….
Bartender! What do you mean it’s last call? I just got here…….